There are many things you can be addicted to, most of them bad. Being addicted to fitness is one of the rare occasions where your addiction is more good than detrimental. That’s why I’m proud to call myself a fitness junky. (You should be too!)
Some people don’t get it, they don’t get us. They don’t understand why we wake up at 5am to go running, FOR FUN. Or why we spend 2 hours at the gym every day and 3 hours in front of the mirror.
They find it crazy that we read every word of every food label on the planet or that we cook an entire week’s worth of meals in advanced and place them in nice little plastic containers that we carry around everywhere we go.
Well that’s too bad! They can kick rocks. I’m proud of my fitness addiction and you should be too. So what if I have to leave a class just to drink my protein shake without disrupting anyone, it’s been 30mins, I need the macros!
Regardless of what anyone says, being addicted to fitness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It’s like being addicted to living healthy, always having energy and never being bored. Who can argue with that?
While there are tons of perks of being a gym rat, there are also some funny side effects that come along with it. I’ll list a few below.
If you’re reading this, odds are you know what I’m talking about.
Funny Side Effects of Being Addicted To Fitness
D-Day after Leg Day
Oh boy, if you’ve ever done some heavy squats or a 2hr leg workout session, then you know all about this one. And if you haven’t, what are you doing with your life?
I think we can all agree that there is only one thing in this life that’s worse than going to the dentist, and it’s walking up stairs after you just destroyed your legs in the gym the day prior.
Walking around like a 90yr old after hip surgery is bad enough, but to make things worse you can’t just explain to people why you’re holding up the line or clinging onto the railing for dear life as you wobble your way up the stairs. Most of them won’t understand, even though you just want to scream “YESTERDAY WAS LEG DAY!”
Oh it’s time to go the bathroom? Well have fun holding onto anything you can find while you slowly and painfully squat your way down to the toilet, only to never want to get up again in your life.
Ah the struggle, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
So you’ve got a bit of a protein addiction, so what? Who doesn’t? Normal people, that’s who. People who don’t clear out entire rooms with a toot from their behind. We’ve all smelled them and we all know the struggle. But you know you don’t mind it, don’t lie! Nobody calls their own kids ugly.
Protein farts aren’t like regular farts, they’re far worse. They’re personal, it’s like your digestive system paying your back for all you’ve put it through. They don’t stop coming either, you’d think after a 3 min long fart session you’d be all cleared out, but nope, it’s an all-day process to contaminate the ozone layer.
Regardless of this minor yet smelly setback, protein is king and the gains are well worth the bit of flatulence that they come with. In my opinion we should all be drinking 4 protein shakes a day, then the world would get used to the smell and there’d be no problems. But what do I know?
Having to be rescued from the damn killer barbell who is out for blood
Okay, this one is only funny if it ends on a good note. If not, I’m sorry :( .
We’ve all been there. You get to the gym, all pumped up on pre-workout and ready to pay the world back for all your problems. You make eye contact with the bench press, it smirks at you, taunts you, calls you weak, skinny, incapable. Not today, you’re not having any of that noise. It’s time to show this bench press who’s boss.
You think to yourself, I’m feeling good, I can add an extra 25lbs to my bench press routine today. So you do it, with a confident smile on your face the whole time. You wave away the spotters (seriously though, don’t do that) because this is you vs. the metal.
The weight is loaded up, your music blasting and your grip is firm. You lift the bar from its holders and lower it down slowly, slower than you previously though. Then it hits you, you’re not getting that bad boy back up. Now you’re stuck with this weight on your chest and the barbell mocking you. The only thing you can do is squeak out a cry for help and pray that someone comes and lifts this weight off you as the entire gym watches the event unfold and giggles to themselves.
But don’t sweat it, we’ve all been there. Just be careful and don’t let your ego guide your workouts. While it’s a funny mistake if someone is around, using too much weight, especially on the bench press, could end your life! So seriously, if you’re going heavy, always use a spotter!